Mom? I have something I need to tell you.....

Okay, thus started the phone call from my 19 year old daughter away at school yesterday. This was followed by "and I don't want you to be mad at me." To be followed by "I really felt like I needed to call you before I did it, but it was 10:30 and I figured you were in my bed and MY ROOMMATES said you wouldn't care!" As I swallowed my heart thinking she had either gotten married, or a tattoo of a big anchor right across her chest, I calmly said, what did you do? She continued with the don't be mad at me mantra and the "this is something I have wanted to do for a long time" excuse while my mind is rushing around every possible scenario and none of them are good. Something she has always wanted to do? Be Britney Spears? OH MY GOD SHE HAS SHAVED HER HEAD AND QUIT WEARING UNDERWEAR??? Finally I not so calmly said WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? In a quiet voice, came the reply "I pierced my belly button." Oh joy!! Happy Day!! Of all the things it could have been this was it??? I was so relieved. So then I had to hear the entire story and of course she had to confirm and reconfirm the sanitary conditions and follow up care and the promise that she wouldn't let it get infected. And the good thing is.........it's not permanent. I had her tell her daddy who immediately started with the no nose, no lip, no eye, no tongue and no nipple rule. Yeah, he actually said no nipple!! I love that man!!! She assured us she would never and that TATTOOS were out of the question so I am good with that. After all, I keep reminding myself (daily) she is 19 and almost in her 3rd year of college. And she is a good kid. My only concern is that the night she did this I had talked to her earlier around 9 and she had complained that she was bored. School is out and all of her friends will be coming home in the next few days. She, however, is staying until the 22nd so she can work. If she gets lonely or bored then, what should I expect? There had better be no ANCHORS(or sailors for that matter) in her future!!!

Laughter TRULY is the Best Medicine!!!

Just had lunch with my "bunch" and laughed so hard that I am in the best mood EVER!!! Just has made my afternoon. Hope the sewing machine crew doesn't turn us in!!!

The Old Gray Mare She Ain't What She Used To Be!!

Okay, so I run every week. Twice a week. And I have hit five miles each day and in the last month my time has gotten really good. So.......I sometimes forget how old I REALLY am!! Yesterday while trying to give my students a "feel" for the Roaring Twenties and what flappers were and how much fun the era was I performed the Charleston. And very well I might add. I performed it so well that I decided to do it again the next class period. And when I was finished with much gusto my knee sort of went.....OW!!!
By the next class period, I was sort of hobbling and by lunch I was barely making the stairs. In the class period FOLLOWING lunch we had a freaking fire drill. Yep, back down the stairs, out to the back forty behind the building, standing around on uneven muddy ground (did I mention that I was in heels) and then back into the building and BACK up the stairs. Okay now I am having a serious knee issue. Went to the trainer after school and it is a POSSIBILITY that ALL I HAVE done is dislocated my knee cap. So, no heels for a few days (I do NOT own a pair of shoes that do not have heels except my tennis shoes and flip flops or my Uggs which I have to wear with jeans)NO RUNNING and ice and ibuprofen and REST!!! YEP, right here at Christmas with a two hour concert at church THREE nights in a row, getting kids ready for semester exams (which requires a lot of walking around the classroom, not to mention the beatings) and Christmas shopping. Had to get permission to wear a wind suit so I could wear tennis shoes. I am SO not wearing tennis shoes with ANY THING else. BUT, the classes that got to SEE me do the Charleston PASSED THE EXAM TODAY WITH FLYING COLORS!!!! You see, I forget that I am old(er)!! I truly do. Bottom line........the old gray mare ain't what she used to be. But she still ain't that bad!!!

EXHAUSTION

I am sitting here in my classroom FIGHTING to keep my eyes open. I am so sleepy that my head feels like it weights ten pounds. I am showing a film and MOST of my students are watching but a few are sleeping. Wonder if they would notice if I laid my head down as well? I would but am afraid the fire would wake me up!! Been a long week and the end of the semester is rapidly approaching. All of the sudden there is MUCH to do just to get ready to be out for winter break. Not to mention all the Christmas stuff to do in the few remaining days and weeks ahead. Makes me tired just.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Brandon Clark

His long and valiant (and I do mean valiant) struggle is coming to an end. Hospice says he probably won't make the night. I could and will most likely wake up in the morning and this gentle giant will be forever gone from my life. He will always be in my heart but God is calling him home even as I type this. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Someone told me today that if he passes away tonight or tomorrow that "Thanksgiving will forever suck for his family" I don't believe that. As thankful as I am for Brandon and his place in my life, I am most thankful that God is going to end his suffering. That he is going to forever be with his Lord and Saviour. That he is NO LONGER going to have cancer. That his wife and kids can start to heal and remember the love and the laughter and start putting the pain and the suffering behind them. Godspeed my dear friend. I'll see you when I get there. It has been an honor.

Where Are Your Parents?

I will be the first to say the the MAIN problem with the youth of today is poor parenting. When one thinks of "poor" parenting they think of neglect, no discipline, rules, structure or positive reinforcement. BUT I have come to see that there is another problem running rampant in our society. Babies getting married with parental approval. Kids who have NEVER been on their own, can't make it on the part-time jobs they have while their parents supply EVERYTHING else. Those that either don't have higher educations or haven't finished pursuing their higher education or who just plain have no clue as to what they want to do in life. YET, they are getting married and with not only their parents consent but their BLESSING as well. Seriously?? And what worked for you doesn't mean will work for your child. Back in the day, it was COMMON for people to get married young but those days are not like the 21st century. In fact, it is harder for ESTABLISHED couples of many years to survive these times much less kids in or just out of high school. I see it all the time. And these people expect me to be happy and excited about their upcoming nuptials. I am not talking about the kids that get pregnant and have no thoughts or plans to get married. EVEN THEY know that their "baby daddy" probably isn't their forever someone. And I even tell them that getting married "for the sake of the baby" is a BAD idea. Let everyone have an active emotional and financial role in the pregnancy and the first YEAR of life and IF after all of that they are still together THEN MAYBE start thinking about getting married. But I digress. I am talking about kids from middle class backgrounds, usually with two parents, who are getting married right out of high school. SERIOUSLY!! And the excuse? "My parents did it". Well that doesn't hold water with me. The marriage success rate in America today is 1 out of every 2!!! The average median age for marriage in the United States as of 2008 was 32!! And while 18 seems terribly young to me, 32 seemed terribly old. BUT, the report stated that people from middle class backgrounds were waiting until they had finished school, started a career, and were financially solvent before committing to a lifetime relationship with someone else. And that they expected the same goals for their soon to be partner. Sounds like SOME OF US are getting it right. So yeah I think 18 year olds getting married is ridiculous and their parents are displaying either ignorance or neglect in not only condoning it but in some cases encouraging it. I had someone tell me that one young lady that is getting married at 18 has been dating the young man for a few years. OH OKAY............so since she was what 16? MAKES all the difference. Sign me up as the matron of honor!!! Because see, MY daughter,who is 19 thought she wanted to marry the guy she dated when she was in the EIGHTH GRADE. And then the guy she dated in the NINTH AND TENTH grade was the ONE. AND then the guy she dated her Junior and part of Senior year was SO FOR SURE THE ONE that even HIS parents (both sets) thought they were getting married. (Her daddy and I were FOR SURE they WEREN'T) And this LAST boyfriend...........the one that she dated from 18 THROUGH being 19??? Katie knew in her heart that this was her future forever person. I watched her make silent plans to spend the rest of her life with this young man. UNTIL he broke up with her. And what has ALL of this love found, love lost, taught my daughter? That you will experience all different kinds of people in your life until you find your forever someone. And that you should. That it is healthy and makes you CERTAIN of what you want. And if you are reading this and you married your high school sweetheart or you married young and are still married then congratulations to you. BUT you are the EXCEPTION NOT THE RULE! I guess I am so upset because I heard this week that a young lady with TONS of potential will probably be married by this time next year. She lives at home. She works, goes to school but struggles financially. So getting married is going to fix that how? I have known her quite a while and care for her. I hope she makes it but I have my doubts. This is her ONLY boyfriend and she is BARELY 18!! But there will be excitement, and joy, and plans for her but for me there will be one question............WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS??? I just don't get it.

TEACHING SCHOOL

Look at picture............enough said!!!

Bouncing Blonde Ponytail

I run with my niece every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. We often run in charity runs on Saturdays as well. She and I were never close as she was growing up. She was born as I was in my last year of junior high and about to embark on my high school journey. I didn't babysit her much and when I did it consisted of her being in bed asleep when I got there and not waking up when I left. My brother wasn't one to let us hold, kiss, coo, or mush on her much if at all. In fact, she hardly ever was held by any of us and rarely stayed with my mom. So when I say we were never close, we really weren't. In fact, there is only one out of five of us that she is close to and they are so close that it is almost like it compensates for all the rest of us. I have always loved her and cared about what happened to her but I haven't really known her at all. Until now. I watch her run as she is always ahead of me and I see that lean body with that easy stride and that bouncing blonde ponytail. In fact, as I run I strain to make sure that I keep it in sight. Not just for safety but because it makes me smile. That bouncing blonde ponytail. The image of a young girl, carefree, running down the trail. We have been running together for almost a year now AND I have gotten to REALLY know her. Not from what she says so much but from how she says it. I feel close to her. I hope she feels the same about me. I know that for an hour every Tuesday and Thursday the most important sight for me.......the one that encourages me to keep moving...........the one that lifts my heart and brightens my spirit......is NOT all the beauty that we encounter down in the park and along the trail. It is that bouncing blonde ponytail!!!

Ordeal OVER!!

After almost 4 days of crime DRAMA and dealing with police who are NO WAY like they are on CSI, our truck was recovered yesterday!! Tire had to be replaced (it was new) and the front of the vehicle on the hood has some dents and some sort of paint where they ran over mailboxes which also left the license plate hanging off. They stole someone's halloween scarecrow and it is in the back of the vehicle and they left their jacket/shirt in the front. BUT whatever it is back. I had pleaded with my students to have them convince the people who took it (since they knew them) to just have them bring it back or drop it somewhere and call me or call one of them so I could go get it. Well, an "anonymous" caller yesterday (right after the class where I appealed to the students to "do the right thing") called and said where it was. I have learned a lot from this. The law pretty much protects the criminals or at least wants to be 100% sure that their case is winnable or they won't put a lot of work into it. That my students WILL do the right thing if you just help/teach them what it is. And that as violated as I felt........it is just stuff. Once I gave it to the Lord and I mean really just LET IT GO and asked HIM to handle it..........things started happening. I felt HIS hand in it and on me MANY times this week. I am grateful to HIM and to my friends who were horrified, understanding, and happy right along with me through this entire ordeal. Not to mention the ones who did some "sleuthing" of their own through the suspect's neighborhood looking for my vehicle. Friends like that are hard to find. I am truly BLESSED!!!

A MOVING VIOLATION!!!

One of our work trucks was STOLEN Saturday night. We were home, up, with lights on and DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT. We discovered it as we were leaving for church Sunday morning. For the first time in MY LIFE I was speechless when George announced "they have stolen my truck." I kept looking at the empty space where it should be and thinking "no, it is not stolen, there is a logical explanation for this." After George said, for the THIRD time, "Joyce did you hear me?", I realized that we had been robbed. It was such a surreal feeling and made me scared. Not even mad (that would come later) just creeped out. As the day progressed, I developed a pounding headache that I think came from me trying to "figure out" what had actually happened and WHY!! Yesterday I told all of my classes and one of them had several students who had seen it and even knew who might have it and they TOLD ME and were willing to TELL the police. You have to understand that these are kids who don't trust the law. But they stood up FOR ME. Was so huge.........I was and am so proud of them and grateful to them. BUT.......still no truck. Also found out that TELEVISION IS A LIE!!! Things don't get solved in an hour and there is no desperate race to find the bad guy. Granted it is an OLD plumbing truck but it is MY old plumbing truck and it is important to me. But not so much to anyone else. Heard from the detective today that he had questioned the "suspect" who said that he didn't do it even though I have THREE young ladies who saw him driving it. So, according to the police, they are at a dead end. So the next time you are pulled over for something (unless they have proof like radar) just tell them you didn't do it. Seems to work for the bad guys!!! AND if you see an old white plumbing truck with a big utility bed and tool bins on the back with kids driving it having a great time..............DON'T call the police...........call me!!!

Stuck In Junior High

As things change the more they remain the same. The Bible says there is nothing new under the sun and truer words were never written. Whatever the circumstances with my friends, in whatever setting, we still have those with that junior high mentality. From people in charge all the way down......it is just drama drama drama. It doesn't help that the people I am working for and most of whom I am working with are 30 or UNDER!!! Are you freaking kidding me? And they CANNOT understand why there is backstabbing, gossip, rumor and innuendo. Well...duh. Welcome to junior high. They are constantly taking sides, pouting, getting their feelings hurt and doing absolutely NOTHING based on professionalism because they are too young to know what that is. They "knee-jerk" react to EVERYTHING and then if they realize that was a bad move they resort to the teen-age response of well "it's not my fault." AARRGGHH!! I have a young lady that I really care about and considered a friend who is no longer speaking to me because SHE supposedly used me and another colleagues name in something and she was questioned about it. No one was mad. Just saying "hey did you do this?" Which by the way I was giving her the benefit of the doubt the ENTIRE TIME!!! So when confronted........she gets mad and not at the person who said this about her but at ME!!! She has not spoken to me since. And that doesn't seem normal behavior for someone who is INNOCENT??? I even tried several times to contact her and assure her that all was well........and guess what? No response.........NONE, ZILCH, NADA!!! She is not speaking to me because??????? And then of course my boss who is about as infantile an individual as I have EVER had the misfortune to be around........words fail me. He did a BAD thing and I reacted accordingly and as of today he has not spoken a word to me for SEVEN weeks. Not that I mind. I do not have time for people that I truly believe are not nice but he IS the boss!! Isn't he supposed to talk to me? And NO, I don't mean as a friend but just in general? I know this........junior high is WAY behind me..........in fact, I can barely remember it!! But for some reason I am being forced to revisit it. EVERY DAY!!!! And of course.........being surrounded by "pre-teens" my sarcasm is so lost on them!!! Wish in junior high I had been as sharp and witty as I am now. But then, alas, they wouldn't have gotten it then either. The drama continues........I know the Lord has me in this specific place at this specific time in my life for a reason. I know nothing happens by accident. But YIKES!! I don't have a reputation for being all nice and sweet and stuff. SHOCKING!! But when I TRY TO it just makes things worse. Whatever.........if I am going to be forever stuck in junior high then I want that body back!!! Because if you think I am hot now.................well..........never mind!!!

What the heck?

I am just posting this to figure out why my last post didn't allow for comments and left so much blank space? Disregard and read about OUR FAMILY WEEKEND!!!

Family Weekend

We got to see Katie for the first time in SIX WEEKS!! We went up for the day to see her and go to the game. Her dad was so sweet. He went to Academy on Friday and bought a button down Texas Tech shirt to wear just for the day. He has Tech t-shirts but wanted to "look nice." Now I remember why I married him. He is a softie underneath that "caveman" exterior. She was thrilled to see us and we did all the touristy stuff and then on to the game where it proceeded to RAIN and we were all three UNDER dressed. It only got up to 58 and we took our hoodies and George's jacke off for these pictures. And of course NO UMBRELLAS!! I left mine in the car because I actually BELIEVED the weather man. WHAT?? Thank goodness for those hoodies and George's zip-in hood in his jacket. But it couldn't dampen our spirits. That would come later, AFTER the game. Anyway, they won!!! After going back to her room for her to change and us to "dry" a little, Katie took us back to our car and we were going to stop and grab a quick bite before we came home and of course the Shelton Family curse kicked in. That is just poetic license for saying "the new wore off", "or we weren't quite so glad to see each other anymore" or "what the heck?" She got frustrated because of the road construction, I tried to help (BIG MISTAKE) so she got sassy with me, I got motherly right back and George began to yell at both of us. NICE!! Just like at home!!! By the time we got to where we were going to eat, NO ONE WAS SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER!!! Sigh... just another day in the life of... Seriously it all worked out and we ended on a high note and got on the road home. Except for that little 30-45 minute interval it was GREAT!!! We are just so REAL people (see previous blog). The "television family" were there and I am sure they were dressed appropriately and had rain gear. (not bitter, just saying) Anyway, it was neat to see her in her new environment and how well she is handling everything. It was a good day and I am so proud of her!!

He's Not So "Great" After all

His dad is a doctor. His mom was a "stay at home" mom when he was little and now works for the dad, I think. The sister is in all sort of theatrical productions and sings. He along with others in the family play one or more musical instruments. They attend church. Not all the time but enough to be known there as members. They all play tennis and even do so as a family. They eat NOTHING that is fried, and the mom doesn't even know HOW to make gravy. They eat fruit salad without sugar, fruit dip, OR cool whip. They have a garden and a swimming pool along with a pool house. They drink wine and allow their kids to and they know which color goes with what meat. They eat a lot of fish and usually it is shrimp or lobster cooked outside by daddy in a "kiss the cook" apron. They take "family" vacations several times a year and one of them is almost always a cruise. Everyone speaks in a calm and reasonable manner ALL THE TIME. Money is not an issue of any kind. He got a scholarship to play tennis at a Division I school. The sister will probably have her way paid to a performing arts school in New York. Both he and the sister have "accounts" that were started by their grandparents and are now "handled" by them with help from dad as to what stock is the highest performing. They will be quasi-millionaires by the time they are in their early thirties. (or so they say) He and his sister's "work experience" has consisted of him being the tennis pro summers only for the country club. Sister, house sitting for rich neighbors and friends at $100 a pop. They have had everything handed to them. They have never had to work for anything or know the experience of having their parents say no. And not just no..... but no because "we can't afford it." They haven't had to make sacrifices or do without. As such, they have no empathy or understanding of people whose lives are very different from theirs. In fact, the boy is a SNOB. He cannot understand why someone would "worry" about money. His parents are no better. They said he was the "most decent guy his girlfriend had ever dated." They also insinuated that she realized this and that is why she loved him because he was such a "catch." I have heard them described by said girlfriend as a "television family."

She comes from a family where dad has no formal education but has worked hard his whole life and owns his own business. A business that he runs himself out of the house with an occasional helper if he is lucky enough to find one. Her mom, stayed home for a while to help raise his children from another marriage. Five people in a two bedroom apartment. Then her dad put the mom through school to help her get a job that would better their lives. It was hard but they managed. Money has always been an issue. Her brothers played football, and she was a cheerleader. There is musical talent in the family but mostly consists of singing in church. And yes, they are in church every time the doors are open. They try to be active and involved. They fight and argue and usually in LOUD voices. But there is no doubt that each and every one in the house is loved and loved a lot. One son attended college for a time and paid his own way. Another brother went and graduated and it was paid for by her parents. She is now in her second year of school, attending the same Division I school and her parents are paying for that as well. From the time they were 16 all the kids had a job after school. Not glamorous work but everything from plumbing, roofing, grocery stocker/bagger, sales person in the mall to a feed store. They worked 15-20 hours a week AND that included nights while going to school and being involved in extracurricular activities. Not to mention working full time in the summer. There were no family vacations because dad couldn't leave the work for longer than a three day week-end. They watched TV as a family and ate southern cooking that was almost always fried and gravy was considered a staple. No drinking by parents or kids.........at least while still living at home. Grandparents were salt of the earth people who grew up working the land and had no inheritance to pass on. No annuities, no stocks, no savings accounts. Just lots of love, a good work ethic, and gratefulness for what they did have. Her family swam at the lake and later on in a little plastic pool in the backyard and finally an above ground pool that is still standing these 10 or more years later. Not a television family but a real one. Lots of love and respect for each other and themselves. A foundation of faith, family, and friends. Regardless of what his parents say the girl has dated several NICE boys. So, if I had to pick a "worthy" girlfriend for this young man I would choose HER. She knows what it means to have to work for what you have. As such, she is responsible and financially sound. She can handle disappointment because it is part of life and growing up, she has experienced LIFE a LOT. She knows the value of a dollar. She knows what it means to work and work hard. She has experienced the sense of accomplishment and pride that comes when the things you have in life are EARNED. She appreciates what she has because she knows it came at a price. Yet she mourns his loss and feels like she won't find anyone "as great" as he is. I want to tell her that television families aren't real. That the "decent" person in all of this is her. Not that he is a bad guy, he is just spoiled, arrogant, and has no clue what the REAL world is all about. That if I were HIS parents I would tell him that she is every bit as good or as "decent" or as "good a catch" as they (and he)thinks he is. I would tell him that his immaturity and selfishness have quite possibly cost him the company of an amazing young lady. And that she loved him (as much as you can at that age) not for what he HAD but for who she thought (and sadly still thinks) he was....a great guy. I want to make her understand that greatness and courage come from LIVING life and all that goes with it good AND bad. It does not come from a life simply existed!!! It does not come from having everything handed to you. It does not come from a "charmed" life and a smug attitude for those whose lives have been different. I want her to know that he's not so great after all!!

My Friend Brandon

I have been fortunate in my life to be blessed with good friends. Not "acquaintances" but true, dependable, loving friends who care about me and my family. I have also worked very hard to be a loving, dependable friend to the people that God has placed in my life. I do not believe that anything happens by accident. I believe that there are no coincidences. Therefore, I believe that God placed Brandon in my life for a reason. To inspire me in my faith, to give me hope, and to make me grateful for the blessings I have that most people consider "everyday" parts of life. I thank God daily for my family, but also for my health and that of my loved ones, my house, my job, clothes on my back, food on my table, bills paid, and my friends. I use to never think about my health unless I was sick. But now I know that it is a gift and one for which I should be grateful. I thank God for it everyday. Which leads me to my friend, Brandon Clark. He has been battling (and it has indeed been a valiant fight) against two primary cancers since February of 2006. He has used his illness and the treatment as a ministry tool to try and reach people for Christ. To point them to God. And in huge ways, he has succeeded. He has changed and touched so many lives. Not just those of the people he knows but countless that he has never met. He has demonstrated such grace and courage in the face of this horrific disease that has ravaged his body but has not and could not rob him of his hope and faith. In fact, he embodies what I want for my life. To live for faith, family and friends........in that order. We all knew, including Brandon, that when God was through with him, He would call him home. That day is approaching and I am sad. But not for reasons one might think. I am sad for his family who will no longer have this amazing man in their midst. His legacy of love and laughter will live on in the hearts and minds of those who love him, but his physical presence will be sorely missed. I am sad for Brandon because I know to leave his family behind is something that breaks his heart. He has NO doubt about his eternal security but we all want to see our children grow up and be there to mark the milestones in their lives. I feel sad for his friends who will no longer get to spend time with this funny man whose main goal is to illicit laughter from those he is around. And I feel sorry for myself. I love him and I will miss him. I don't know how much "time" he has but I know that instead of dying from cancer, he will live with it until God calls him home. I am honored to be his friend. I pray for strength and God's grace and mercy for Brandon and those of us who love him in the difficult days ahead.

9/11/01

God Bless America..........May we never forget the events of that day.

It Happened So Fast!!

After four days of class and two days of work, I have discovered that Katie will never truly be home again. To visit, yes, to live....no. Just like that. Gone two weeks and BAM......she's really gone. I am quite without words (truly) and rather taken aback. I mean, it happened so fast. She called me Tuesday to say that her job wanted her to work in between semesters when I just assumed she would be home for a month. Of course, it is a REAL job and I guess they wouldn't let their employees, especially part-time ones have a 4 week vacation after being on the job three months. Sounds rather unreasonable to me. Don't they know that her momma had plans for those weeks? BUT, she is getting to be home for Christmas and New Years (which New Years' eve is her daddy's birthday). I should be grateful right? Yeah, well not so much. She then informs me that they will also be expecting her to work through the summer and that she doesn't want to lose this job so she will have to figure out where she is going to live and how that is all going to work out. Did I say that she had only been TWO DAYS ON THE JOB and FOUR DAYS IN COLLEGE????? MY plan was that she would be here ALL SUMMER and live at home and take classes at ASU? Well that wasn't going to work either evidently. Because she THEN informs me that in order to minor in Spanish and really really learn the language, she needs to STUDY ABROAD this summer, which will involve her GOING TO SPAIN FOR THREE WEEKS. And get this, her JOB will work around that because it is part of her education. Evidently they don't work around MOMS!!! Bitter, party of one please! Well when I get over the fact that she actually said SPAIN, I inform her that I can't afford to freaking send her across the ocean. Her response? She has already checked into it. It is quite affordable (and sad to say, she's right, it is). So......she didn't just leave the nest. In two weeks, she has ripped it out of the tree, scattered it to the wind, chopped the tree down and used it for firewood. I know that this is what I raised her for and I should be proud but it happened TOO fast. All I heard in ALL OF THIS NEWS she so excitedly called to tell me is that she is not coming home. She'll come for visits but she won't be BACK here like I had anticipated ever or at least anytime soon. I am proud of her........ she is growing up, making decisions, and mapping out her life all on her own. She is reconnecting with her faith and making good friends and wise choices. She is doing everything right (so far) and I love her more than ever. She is going to be just fine, but as for her daddy and I......it's a crapshoot. I sit her tonight, loving and missing her, yet being so proud. And through it all, since the phone call, the one constant that my mind keeps coming back to is........it happened so fast.

Empty Nest Part Two

When Katie moved into the dorm at ASU this time last year, her daddy and I (her daddy especially) mourned her leaving pretty heavy. And for the first two weeks she was gone she didn't come home (hello?we live right across town) or call AT ALL. It was very hard. But as time progressed she started coming around more. Granted it was for free meals and laundry but still. During her year "away" from home she blossomed and grew into an independent and responsible young adult. Did well in school, worked, and PAID her way. Didn't ask us for money and took care of business. So this past weekend when we moved her to Texas Tech, we all felt that she was ready and so were we. WRONG!!! I noticed that the last four days here she stayed home EVERY night and just hung out with her father and I. Okay, she hasn't CHOSEN to hang out with us since she was 16. When we got up AT FIVE Sunday morning to head to Lubbock, we were all on board and things were fine except for the baggy eyes and stifled yawns. When we got to the dorm, her dad and I MOVED her in while she stayed in the room doing I don't know what. I remember thinking, "we are paying her tuition AND we have to haul all her crap?" And from the parking lot to her second story dorm room was at least 200 yards. By the fourth trip, I thought George was going into minor cardio arrythmia and I was on my 2nd or 3rd mini-stroke. We had a little "drama" ONCE when her daddy got on to her for her bad/demanding attitude. (Imagine that) So, at that point she quit speaking to him. And of course there are other roommates with their parents who are trying to move in as we have a domestic squabble in her room. It was delightful. After about 2 1/2 hours, she was, for the most part, moved in and we went to eat lunch. She took us to Spanky's and we all just sort of sat and enjoyed a good hamburger and a nice view. We sat by the window upstairs. THEN it was time to take her "home" (that just doesn't sound right to me), say goodbye and get on the road. We were all fine. Seriously. When I got out of the car to hug her and tell her goodbye.........I completely fell apart. It was like a death wail. I was so horrified but the tears kept flowing and the sobs kept coming. In fact, when a mom walked by and saw me hugging Katie and crying..SHE started crying so I pretty much contributed to her falling apart. And of course, George started to cry and then Katie teared up. It was AWFUL!!! She looked so small walking back to that dorm by herself. She is ill and hadn't gotten her meds yet and she didn't have a job and it was just so BIG and uncertain. I drove us out and was sobbing so that I took us home through Post instead of Lamesa. I sobbed for about 15 minutes, cried for another 15 or twenty, and then whimpered occasionally all the way home. BUT two days later she had her meds and started taking them AND SHE GOT A JOB. NOT JUST ANY JOB BUT A "CUSHY" ONE!!! In a law firm (not bad for a pre-law student) working 4 afternoons a week, off at five, no nights or weekends. Perfect for her health AND her schedule. God is so good to us. And she calls us every day, sometimes more than ONCE and emails and texts her momma regularly. So I think of all the emotions as she has left us TWICE, I now think of all the opportunities that lay ahead for her. And though I am torn between missing her and being so proud for her, I say to myself, fly high little bird, spread your wings and soar, and if you need it, the nest will always be here.

God As A Big Black Woman?

My sister-in-law gave me a copy of this book. When I began reading it, I was really into the story UNTIL (watch out spoiler alert) God was portrayed as a big black woman. I couldn't get past it for a day or two but as I continued to get into the story, that no longer seemed to matter. The book was extremely profound and very well written. The author never intended the book to be published. He wrote it for his children to try to explain why bad things happen to those who love the Lord. At some point in their lives, a very "bad" thing happened to him and his family. I do not know what it was. In the book, it is the murder of his 6-year old child. Whether or not this is the REAL event is irrelevant. He uses the book to explain the Trinity and the wonderment of the relationship between the three. Will you understand the Trinity after reading the book? No. Is his representation intended to be factual? No. But it did impact my life in a HUGE way. And the PRINCIPLES in the book are very much reflected in the Bible. In fact, there were MANY places where I had to go back and re-read what "God" was saying. It made me feel good and this non-fiction fictional tale left me wanting to be better. Made me want people to see Christ IN me and THROUGH me in a way that NO SERMON ever has. After reading the book, I did some research on it and found that many religious "experts" (what is that by the way?) profane the book for all sorts of "personal" reasons one of which is that God is portrayed as female. But, He is referred to as Papa, which is male the last time I checked. The book is ripe with symbolism and I believe that most "critics" don't understand what an allegory is. Of course they are only EXPERTS in that which offends them. TYPICAL RELIGION. This author is writing out of pain and suffering and a desire to understand God and how He could stand by while bad things happen to his children. Another thing to keep in mind is...he never intended for anyone but his children to read it. And when it just took off he had no control over the impact it had anymore than I believe he had over the story that his heart and perhaps the Lord told him to write. It is a good read. It has Biblical truths in it and gives the reader a sense of peace about that which we cannot comprehend. I am glad that I read it and yeah, God as a big black woman was hard to get past.........AT FIRST. But as I read the WORDS, the author's vehicle for presenting them no longer seemed important. So, this blog is part of my contribution to "The Missy Project". To find out what that is, you will have to read the book. I could pass the book along which is also part of the project, like my sister-in-law did, but I plan on keeping it and re-reading the parts that changed me. Especially with school fast approaching and life seeming so unfair at times. I plan on spending a few days of my own at THE SHACK.

"When people show you who they are

believe them." This is a quote from the famous poet Maya Angelou. I heard her say this YEARS ago, I believe on Oprah (yeah back when I watched her like 20 years ago). Ms. Angelou had been "discovered" by Oprah as this brilliant African American poet whom, unbeknownst to Oprah, had been around a LONG while and everyone BUT Oprah knew of her. I digress. Anyway, Angelou had said that the key to "getting along" in life without so many disappointments and betrayals and the key to having good healthy relationships with others was to believe people when they show you who they are. But, instead, for whatever reason, we tend to excuse bad behavior or disappointment in the people we care about and attach all kinds of excuses to their behavior. Okay, I am not talking about a one time blow up or freak out or something "out of the ordinary." Lord knows we have all been there, done that. But I am talking about when people do hateful, sneaky, manipulative, cheating, scheming, lying, underhanded (the list goes on and on) things. Or people who attack you or lash out at you every time you have an opinion different from theirs, or try to "punish" you for your feelings. And yeah, I can name at least THREE people close to me who come to mind IMMEDIATELY. What does that say about my ability to judge character? AT some point, you have to just say, "okay, so you are NOT a nice person." Or, "okay, you and I ARE NOT on the same page when it comes to how we are going to live our lives" or "we do NOT have the same values when it comes to friendship, honesty, integrity, and professionalism" and move on. Two years ago, I gave someone the benefit of the doubt even though they just kept "showing me" who they were. This week, they LEFT NO DOUBT!!! They are NOT a NICE PERSON. They are likable enough. Even friendly and occasionally humorous but they CANNOT BE TRUSTED TO DO THE RIGHT THING. And if they are that way with others they will MOST CERTAINLY be that way with me. In fact, they have been that way with me and I have "excused" it out of wanting to "give the benefit of the doubt." How stupid is that? If they keep on doing the same things to you and the people you care about then WAKE UP.........this is WHO THEY ARE!!!!!!! This person is someone whom I will see often but it doesn't mean that I have to let myself be sucked in anymore. It is time for me to BELIEVE, no matter how disappointing, WHO THEY ARE!!! I guess the redneck version of Ms. Angelou's quote is "actions speak louder than words." But yet we tend to go with the words that people say. Maybe because it is easier. Maybe because we don't want to truly see people for who and what they are. It just seems that this summer has been a series of disappointments for me when it comes to relationships (both male and female). And now school is starting soon and I have to face it head on. I am not looking forward to it. I am angry and sad. And not so much at the people who have "shown themselves" to me, but at myself for NOT BELIEVING that is who they are. For constantly making excuses for bad behavior when I have NO DOUBT that when I behave badly, they are NOT making excuses for me. I hope that I don't behave badly often enough that excuses have to be made. I hope that when I "act up" or hurt or disappoint someone that is that "rare occasion" where there is something else going on and that it is NOT who I am. I have always said what I thought the MINUTE I thought it. (and it hasn't always worked to my advantage or been a good thing I might add) But I am trying to do and be better. To temper my feelings and opinions so as NOT to hurt people. But at least with my friends and I guess even my enemies, you KNOW WHO I AM. Wish it were that way with everyone. Be a lot less disappointment I think. So remember, in EACH and EVERY relationship, "when people show you who they are, believe them." I intend to.

Running With Buzzards

I am sure that you have heard the expression "soaring with eagles", or "on the wings of eagles." Well, I had a different experience this weekend. I ran in the Stop, Drop and Roll Five Mile Run benefitting the East Concho Volunteer Fire Department. It has been two months since I have attempted a five miler. I ran one in March and did well (it's all perspective, but my time was decent even though it was WAY behind everyone else) and then had injuries and a little surgical procedure and wasn't able to run for three weeks. I was really looking forward to the state race in May (another five miles)and even though I wasn't physically or mentally prepared I showed up. That is about all I did. Finished with an abysmal time and people watching me run thought I was having some kind of stroke or other fatal ailment. A friend of mine asked me the next day at church "are you okay, I was really getting worried about you yesterday. You looked like you were really struggling." Yeah, I get LOTS of encouragement at church. So, I was nervous Saturday about the run. When we got there the weather was great.......of course it was a little after seven IN THE MORNING. But by the time the race started an hour later it was already hot and EXTREMELY humid and we were running on pavement without ANY SHADE. I fought my feelings of anxiety and thought to myself "just finish." So off we went and I settled into a pretty good pace and decided to enjoy the run AND the countryside. I was last (though I never look back to see for sure) but felt pretty confident that no one was behind me. As I made the first three miles, I was feeling good. I have been running that distance for the last two weeks but felt a little anxiety about the last two. As I hit the three mile marker, I decided to focus on the "beauty" around me. I thought I saw two airplanes in the sky and thought to myself, "that is unusual, perhaps it is a training exercise." After all, we were out by Goodfellow. As I continued on, I noticed that the "planes" were getting lower. And about the same time, I realized that I was struggling physically and sweating profusely. As I looked up again, I realized with great horror that the planes closing in on me were not planes at all but good old West Texas Buzzards. I always thought they feasted on dead things only but evidently they have an eye for things that are "dying" or are in the "last stages of death." I am not sure which category that put me but I picked up the pace and outran those rascals. Finished the race upright, never walked, and shaved three minutes off of my time. I didn't win but I beat the buzzards!!!!

P.S. I WASN'T last and got third place for my age group............whoo hoo

I Lost A Friend Today

When you hear that statement you almost always assume that someone has passed away. Well when someone close to you is no longer a part of your life it feels like a death sometimes. I have always been blessed with many friends and quite a few GOOD, CLOSE, DEPENDABLE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME PASSES I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU friends. I lost one today. And they don't even know it. I think a great deal of responsibility comes with being someone's friend. Unlike being an acquaintance, whom you smile or wave at, or engage in small talk with, a FRIEND is someone much more. You can always be honest with them and they with you no matter how painful the subject is. You might not agree but you aree to disagree and the relationship continues. Friendship is a gift from God. Our Lord was the friendliest human on earth and extended His precious hand of friendship to people of both sexes, from every financial class, and from all walks of life. He knew how important it was. Man doesn't do well alone and for those who don't have spouses or families, God created friends to stand in the gap. I take my friendships very seriously. Today, I have decided to end one. It is not something that I did lightly nor is it something they will probably ever realize. Because you see, I was their friend and would KNOW right away if something was wrong or if they felt differently about me. But perhaps they were never really mine. They could just not continue to do the same thing over and over that they KNOW is hurtful to me if they were truly my friend. Or at least they would talk to me about it and try to make me understand. Or perhaps just say, even though we don't agree on this, I want you to know that I care about you and am sorry if you are upset. Instead...........NOTHING. So, today as the reality of our TRUE relationship settled in on me, I said out loud (because for me, that makes it seem more viable when you vocalize your feelings)"I am no longer so and so's friend." And I feel sad about it.........and they probably won't even notice. I lost a friend today........they did not. Because now I have to painfully admit that they were never as invested in me as I was in them. Therefore they were never a TRUE friend after all. And with that being the case I should not feel so sad. Sigh............

19 Years Ago Today

Nineteen years ago today at 1:37 pm, my life was forever altered. It was precisely at that moment that Katie Rae came squealing into the world. She has been making her presence known ever since. I cannot believe that the years have gone so quickly. I read a blog today of a person who had counted the weeks until his daughter will graduate high school and made a vow to make each day count to the fullest and to give as much as he could to his kids in terms of time. I did that. I did. I have NO REGRETS. She was the world, no the universe, to her daddy and I, every waking hour of every day. Our dreams, hopes, and plans revolved around her and a future for and with her. It doesn't matter. The time still goes so quickly that if you focused on them even when you were asleep, you would still think "where did the time go?" It is just part of life I guess. I am sure that my mom sees me and wonders "when did my baby girl get old?" I wonder that about myself daily. So today at 1:37 pm, that little 7 pound gift from God was in a college Spanish class after having been at work since 7:30 this morning. That bundle of joy was busy with preparing herself for a life and a future. I am so proud of her. She is a young woman now, not quite an adult but barely a teenager any longer. I don't want the time back. I want time ahead to see what this young lady is going to do with her life. Did I say I was proud of her? I am. Happy Birthday Katie Rae........you are the air we breathe....let the adventure continue.

Going Postal

It has been many years, thank goodness, since it has happened. But in years past, there were a rash of shootings in post offices by postal employees. Evidently the stress and pressures of the job, caused them to want to shoot their bosses, co-workers and even themselves. Hence the saying, "going postal." Well, I have some issues with that. I was at the post office the other day, as I have been many times, and the line was to the door and there were THREE, yep that's right, THREE employees. Because of new laws that require a passport to go to Mexico, and because we live in what is now "little Mexico", there are MANY people who are there wanting passports. This takes anywhere from 20 minutes to two days for the employee to explain and get done. They should have a passport PERSON but no, any one who goes to any station can start that long process. While those of us needing, I don't know STAMPS or something else that takes all of 2 minutes must wait. And INVARIABLY, no matter HOW MANY people are in line, one of the THREE (and there are NEVER more than three) employees will put up their "window closed" sign and continue to work slowly and calmly while we all stand there and stare at them in disbelief. If looks could kill, that white haired man with the glasses, would be at Johnson's Funeral Home as we speak. A supervisor will usually make an appearance and see the LONG line and decide to "HELP". This is laughable. Yes, it is. In fact I was laughing almost out loud as I typed that. She goes up and down the aisle asking what people need and guess what? She tells ALL of them "I can't do that, you will have to see the clerk." In fact ALL SHE CAN DO, evidently, is see if you need help and direct you to the clerk which is what you were standing in line for in the first place. I believe her real job is to placate you but all she does is make me even madder. I think she can go get certified letters for you, provided you show her your birth certificate and slip her a $100 bill. So after the clerk that has closed their window (and it is always the white haired guy by the way), works SLOWLY for a while at his window.........he opens back up. WHAT???????? He couldn't have just stayed open and done whatever he was doing LATER? Perhaps when the line didn't contain 18 people? And might I add that throughout this whole ordeal, the passport couple ARE STILL THERE and not ANY closer to getting one it seems. So, the post office employees find THEIR job so stressful that they bring guns to work? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? They are as slow as tortoises. They feel no pressure as they face an ANGRY MOB (line, same thing) of people who just want to get their business done and get out. They close their work stations WHENEVER they feel like it. And HEAVEN FORBID, if it is time for their break, while they are WAITING on a person, they just clock out. SERIOUSLY!! So where does the anger come from? I can tell you..........IT IS WITH ME!!!!!!!!! I was so "postal" by the time I had stood in line (with only 8 people in front of me, all of whom were just buying stamps or mailing something) for over thirty minutes, they are lucky I DON'T carry a gun!! And it is that way EVERY time I go there. What is that? And yet, we should pity the postal worker and ALL that they go through? Not me baby. I used to visit with my postman, talk about the weather, joke about the bills and stuff, but not anymore. I am afraid that I will pummel him about the face and head profusely and scream, "what is up with the freaking post office?" So, I just smile and wave and fight the bitterness that is welling up within me. Going Postal? Yeah, I do EVERY time I go in the building. And the couple trying to get the passport?? I drove by the NEXT day and they were STILL there and the line was OUT OF THE BUILDING........going postal..........JEESH!!!!

SCHOOLS OUT!!!!!!!!

It just seems so surreal to me. I mean it is FINALLY over. And when the day came, it was so anticlimactic. It doesn't feel like the last day but doesn't feel like we have to go back next week either. I was neither excited nor relieved when the day was over. I was like I was EVERY other day for the past 180..........TIRED. So here is to summer which seems to get shorter every year. Here is to no more schoolwork, no more books, no more students' dirty looks. I know that is not how the song goes but in this day and age it seems about right to me. Summer doesn't "officially" begin until next month but I say, "let's get this party started." And with that said, it is 9:41 pm, and I am GOING TO BED!!! Party hard dudes :0)

"CONSTANTS" IN OUR LIVES

This almost seems like a New Year's post but seriously I was sitting here thinking about this time last year. WOW!!! A lot has happened/changed since then. And maybe that is true of every year as our lives are constantly changing and evolving or at least I hope they are as we age and grow. I would hate to think that my LIFE was a constant. There are CONSTANTS in my life but I hope that my life is fluid and that I am constantly growing and changing.

A year ago this weekend, we found out that George had high blood pressure. That same weekend they over medicated him and we thought he was having a stroke. Frantic rush to the emergency room and an overnight stay in the hospital. Worry for me and TERROR for him.
NOW.......blood pressure is finally stable or perhaps I should say CONSTANT and last week we finally received a prescription for the meds instead of samples. So we are good to go.

A year ago this weekend, George came out of the closet with his smoking. Okay, he was forced out after the whole hospital ordeal. See, we knew he smoked but pretended not to so he would not smoke as much.
NOW...we know and he smokes all the time (or so it seems to me). Smoking has become another CONSTANT in my life. (pray for me about that as I hate, loathe, despise, abhor, abominate it)

A year ago this weekend, I was planning Katie's graduation party and preparing myself for her move to the dorms at ASU.
NOW...she is back home after a successful start at college and now I prepare myself for her move to LUBBOCK in August. Her being "on her own" is now a constant in our lives.

A year ago we discovered that her cheerleading injury in MARCH had left a HOLE in her shoulder muscle that had gone undetected for two months. She was scheduled for surgery which would leave her literally incapacitated for most of the summer.
NOW....she is "healed" but her body is not "as it was". Now 96% mobility is the new constant for her shoulder. And as her mom, I feel bad for the pain she had to endure and the damage that is left behind.

A year ago, I was tired of school, ready for it to be over, and counting the days to the end .
NOW.. I STILL AM!! And EVERY YEAR that remains a CONSTANT!!!!

She's Coming Home TODAY!!!

After moving out in August, Katie is coming back home today. Granted it is only for 11-12 weeks before she moves to Lubbock but starting today she will be back under our roof. My friends asked me if I was excited and I hesitated. We all three have adjusted to her being gone and "on her own" and George and I have had to adjust to being "on our own". So I do see another adjustment coming. And at the Shelton household we don't adjust to ANYTHING well. I mean we do eventually accept change but not without a lot of "drama" before hand. My rule for all three of us, stated two nights ago before the MOVE started, that we were all going to have to readjust ( I mean 9 months IS a long time) and that in the process we needed to be patient and KIND. Something else we don't do well I might add. :0) So, yes, my baby girl is returning to the nest today. I am excited, I am expectant, and a little anxious. I have all these grand ideas about how much we have all changed and grown in these last months but in my heart I know that in a matter of minutes of us all being together we will revert back to the normal (using the term loosely) Shelton household routine. "What time is supper?" "I am hungry." "Dad, did you smoke IN my bathroom?" "Turn your music down!" "Don't use that tone with me" "MOM (with an eye roll thrown in) and so forth. So yeah, perhaps we aren't as enlightened as I think/hope we are. But in the end............none of that matters..............She is coming HOME today and down deep..........I am not only excited.......I AM THRILLED!!!

Top Ten Things About May

I love February (see previous blog of same title) but am not a fan of May even though I love spring (also previous blog title). Why do I hate May? I mean it has Mother's Day (and we should have our own MONTH instead of just a day are you kiding me) but really there is nothing redeeming about May. Here are the top ten things I identify with the month of May

10) School is almost out so time DRAGS by

9) The weather can't decide if it is spring or summer

8) What to wear (see above)

7) Graduation announcements (from everyone and their dog which means gifts)

6) Swimsuit season is rapidly approaching (now there's a fun thought)

5) Mosquitos and flies come out of hibernation or wherever they have been since October

4) My clock at school is broken (see previous blog)

3) There is SOMETHING at school EVERY day and NONE OF IT is school related

2) Kids/Teachers are sick of school so they are impossible!!

And the number one thing I identify with the month of May

THE AGONIZING COUNTDOWN UNTIL SCHOOL IS OUT

And as of today it is 10 days which in teacher days is really 17!!! Seriously

My Clock Is Broken

I sit here gazing at a clock that NEVER MOVES. I know it has batteries and I know it works but the minutes are dragging by. The minutes? Even the seconds as the second hand, tired of moving so slowly I am sure, has fallen off and is resting at the bottom of the clock. The clock at the back of my room that HAS a working second hand barely moves either. I mean a second is a long time. OR.........perhaps it is because we are ELEVEN days away from the end of the school year and time has ground to a halt? At this time of year, it is so hard to be motivated and EVEN harder to motivate kids. So we (teachers and students) shut down and show up. We try to manage the time but as sick as we are of school the students are even sicker. They have spent their entire year focusing on the TAKS test (I teach juniors who have to pass it in order to graduate) and now that it is behind them, they are basically through with school. And I don't blame them. We have to teach EVERYTHING BEFORE the test so they can pass it and then we have 4-5 weeks of NOTHING. There is just so much busy work you can have them do and so many videos you can show and then you are busted. Nothing, nada, zilch...........That is where we are today. The weather outside is gorgeous, you can almost TASTE summer, and we are ALL tired. Yet here we are............in school..........trying to create something ELSE to teach these kiddoes and keep it upbeat and entertaining at the same time. I think after TAKS we should call the whole thing off. I mean we have met the state requirement...........so instead of "playing" school, we should tell the kids "you did the job, you have been assessed for mastery and we will let you know how you did, enjoy your summer,because if you failed you aren't going to graduate unless you take the test AGAIN!" And to teachers, "you taught your curriculum, you followed your scope and sequence, the test has been given, we will let you know your results, enjoy your summer because if results are bad you are going to lose your job!" and call it a day. And in the time it has taken me to write this...............the clock has NOT MOVED at all. I think it is surely broken. And there is something wrong with my calendar as well because there is NO WAY it can only be TUESDAY!!!!

FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR

I have a friend who HATES spring!! I am using the term "friend" loosely here because how can you possibly hate spring? Everything is turning green, the birds are building nests, flowers are blooming, the days are warm and the nights are cool. Okay that has only been true about the weather 2 times since spring started but still. SHE hates it because she hates to do yard work. I think it is rather discriminatory to hate a season because of a chore that just happens to coincide with it. I think she needs a "lawn boy". Preferably one that is young, cute and works with his shirt off. I have a lawn boy. His name is George and he is NOT ALLOWED to work with his shirt off. We do have neighbors you know. I have always loved spring. As a child, I saw it as a prelude to summer and daylight lasting longer which meant more time outside. As a young teen, it meant shorts, tank tops, and flip flops. As a young adult, it meant YARD WORK, which I just happen to love. My mom, who spent most of her young life as a tenant farmer, always said that there was something uplifting about "getting your hands in the soil." Even when we were young, mom tried to "keep" the yard and we would help. I can see her standing on the sidewalk barefoot with the hose in hand, watering the grass in the cool of the evening. I can remember how we would sleep with the windows open and the wind would blow across the wet grass creating a gentle cooling breeze. My grandmother, who didn't even have indoor plumbing for years, always had a beautiful yard and of course a garden. My mom, who had spent many years growing food, planted flowers instead. And then she became interested in trees, so that there would be shade for "future generations." Her words exactly. I mean, I couldn't make that up. And as such, I have always loved working out in the yard. I love being out there with the family, stopping occasionally to sit in the shade and cool off with a glass of tea and then get back to the task at hand. And of course, "yard work" day usually means George is grilling something. As I got older, I, too, started planting flowers and even feeding the birds. It just changes the whole atmosphere of your home to have a pretty yard. And one that you and YOURS have accomplished. Even the "homeliest" house looks prettier with a nice yard, trees, and flowers. And it is so simple. A little water, a little time, and a nice trim once a week. God pretty much does the rest. So, here's to spring..........a beautiful time. A time of rebirth and regeneration. My FAVORITE time of year

What an Idiot

"Let go and let God"....how many times have I heard that? I would say at least one hundred times. And how many times have I told someone that? At least one hundred. And how many times have I ACTUALLY DONE that? Nowhere near one hundred. I am so arrogant that I think I can handle things MOST OF THE TIME. And when I can't THEN I give it to God. I am sure He just shakes His head and thinks, "I love her but isn't she just so tragic?" I have had a trying week. No more than anyone else, I am sure, but when it is happening to you...........well, you don't really care about anyone else. Or at least I don't. And through it all, I did everything BUT really truly give it over 100% to God. I prayed about it, but in my mind, I thought "surely I can fix this." Well, guess what? COULDN'T!!! I am looking at a lot of things in the upcoming months that I am really going to have very little,IF ANY, control over. I am going to have to LET GO and LET GOD and no matter how trite that sounds............it works. Truly, it does. And that doesn't mean that God makes it all better. It means He works it out to HIS perfect will for your life and in the end how can that EVER be wrong? I am relying on Him for many things, but there is a small part of me that is trying to HELP Him get these things done. How appreciative HE must be that I am willing to give of my time and talent to HELP HIM!! Am I an idiot or what? (Rhetorical question which I don't expect you to answer) I had a colleague tell me one time that when I prayed I needed to literally turn my palms up and "let go". I tried it one Sunday and it was a liberating feeling. But it wasn't too long until I was back at my tight fisted life; hanging on to anything and everything that I thought I could do to make life better. What an idiot? (didn't I already say that?) So, on this Friday afternoon, as I think about all the things that cause me worry and stress, I am letting go..........I am..........truly........probably just for today but still.........I am going to place my TRUST in HIM and get out of the way. You know, until I think HE NEEDS MY HELP. What an idiot (and yes this time you may agree!)

Mean Girls

I absolutely LOVED and STILL LOVE the movie "mean girls". It is just the epitome of high school. In fact, most of us, NEVER really leave high school, we just leave the building. In fact, I am STILL in the freaking building. There are still cliques, and gossip, and slander, and criticizing no matter how old you get. I, for one, was a "plastic" in high school (shocking) though at the time we were called "jets". And not after the movie West Side Story, but after the term "jetsetter" meaning a person of importance. We were "pop", short for popular. We had "jocks", "geeks", "nerds", (not sure now why those weren't the same except I think the "geeks" were smart), "thugs", "band nerds", and "hoods". Can you hear the smile in my voice as I write this. Oh yeah. It was classic mean girl world. Oh yeah and the "wannabes" which we still have today in every area of society. I can't imagine NOT BEING popular and while I know that makes me sound shallow and vain, high school was wonderful for the"jetsetters/plastics". Any drama we had was within ourselves and even though we were mean, when it came to the down and dirty, we took care of our own. We could be mean to each other but no one could be mean to us. We were imitated and people wanted to be like us or be liked BY us. Just like the "plastics". We also wanted to be like each other. A lot like Gretchen in the movie. One girl would wear something "new" and by weeks end everyone was wearing it. And yeah, what does that say about individuality and independence? Not much, but we were in high school. In fact, today we ALL still IMITATE stars, or "popular people" or people we admire. That is where all the fashion ideas come from for pete's sake. Women dress for women. We don't care what men think of what we have on or how we do our hair. We care what the "ladies" are going to think. Yeah, there is a little "plastic" in all of us. As a "plastic" gets older they are no longer mean-spirited like high school but just plain mean. I choose to think of it as sarcastic, sharp, and witty with a broken "give a damn" meter. So are you a mean girl? These might help you decide:
YOU MIGHT BE A MEAN GIRL IF:

1) you notice what others are wearing and have an opinion about it
2) you're appearance (at ALL times) is important to you
3) other people's appearance is important to you
4)you can't stand annoying people and don't even try to
5) you know the fashion "dos and don'ts" and live by them
6) you have a BFF that is also a mean girl
7) you and above mentioned person talk about other people and what they are wearing and how good/bad they look
8) you are smart and informed about important things............like fashion and what is in the latest issue of People magazine
9) you like yourself A LOT
10)and last but not least...........other people like you too...and if they don't it is because they are jealous!!!!

Welcome to Texas Tech!!

Well it is official.......we are part of the Red Raider family as of Friday afternoon about 2:30 pm. I am a little overwhelmed. Katie has wanted to go to Tech for as long as she has been old enough to know that she wanted to "for sure" go to college. And as most of you know, we wanted her to stay here a year to "get her feet under her" before we sent her THOUSANDS of miles away....okay only 200 miles or so but still. So, she has fulfilled her frantic family requirement and now she has been accepted into a Division I school WAY UP in the Panhandle FAR from home. We went up this last week for orientation and let me say that it was quite an eye opener. The first thing they told us (the parents) was to "relax" AND "release". In other words, GET OUT OF THE WAY AND LET YOUR CHILD TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR COLLEGE EDUCATION. Of course MY FIRST THOUGHT was......yeah but I'm paying the bill. But as they continued to speak, I realized that what they were saying made sense. When she goes in August, I won't be there to hold her hand, or help her with decisions or TELL HER WHAT TO DO!! Kind of disconcerting for what I like to call "hands on" parenting which Katie likes to call "mom, I can't breathe, your arms are suffocating me" parenting. Anyhow........as they began to talk about the enormity of her college education..how many kids actually finish, and what percentage actually pursue their degree without having to start over, and how many are successful, I began to feel a little overwhelmed. Had I been Katie, I would have RAN back to the car and to Angelo State University, hearth and home. But she was not deterred in the least. When we got through with the degree plan for becoming a lawyer, I asked her if she was still sure and she confidently said yes. As I took a break outside, by myself, I saw literally hundreds of students going around the campus to class, or jobs, or some jogging, or just hanging out. NOT ONE OF THEM was crying or vomiting. In fact, the only person I could find who felt a little nauseous was ME. So, when it was all over, I asked Katie how she felt and she said I am excited and can't wait to get here. I said "me, too" because that is what a Red Raider mom would say. But inside I thought.........oh my gosh what have we done? So, there you have it. She is going to Tech in August. I am proud. I am scared. I am already a little lonely. But I came home with a "Texas Tech mom T-shirt." As for Katie................she is counting the days.

I'M BACK BABY!!

Okay not really. I mean I did run twice this week after laying off for almost three weeks to rest the shin splints. (Note to potential runners/joggers/speedwalkers; they don't heal or really go away, just feel better for a while and then are right back). So, I missed being on the road, wind in my face (okay I am lying... I HATE the wind, especially when you are running into it and this last week it was like, what, a thousand miles an hour?) but I digress. I like to run because for that amount of time my mind is blank (no easy shots here dear reader!) I don't worry, wonder, or think about anything, unless of course it is keeping my pace, staying up with my niece, who by the way has become a SPEED DEMON the three weeks I have been off, or simply breathing. So, I am back. Ran easy on Thursday, and a little more distance and speed on Friday. Felt good to be back. I have A LOT of running to do in order to get ready for the Texas State 5 mile Run in the Sun in May. So, I am having banana pudding for supper. I know that is good for you because after every run they bring out the bananas by the truckload. So, there it is...........I am BACK!!! (and my leg hurts even as we speak)

What A Blessing

My daughter has grown up so much the last year that I can scarcely get over it or at times comprehend it. All those times I thought I was the "worst mom ever" and of course she was agreeing with me 100%, I never thought I was getting any of it right. BUT I WAS!!! LOOK AT HER!!! She is gorgeous, smart, a good student, ambitious, determined, responsible, and FIERCELY INDEPENDENT. I couldn't be prouder. Seriously!! And look at "the boyfriend." Not so bad either. Cute boy, solid Christian, good student, morally upstanding (no kidding), an athlete on a scholarship to a Division I school for tennis. Plays SEVERAL musical instruments, is active in his church, and likes his family. Shoot, he even likes us!! I don't know where they are headed and don't really care and I don't think they do either. They are so mature about their relationship, which has been long distance, and yet there is no drama there. I just feel blessed at this moment.

What Not to Wear (revisited)

People magazine usually puts out an issue on how to "glam" it up for the summer. It is full of helpful tips and cost effective ways to "look like a star." I have decided to help my dear friends, coworkers, and students who either don't subscribe to People or who can't afford to purchase one at Wal-Mart. So here are MY fashion DOS AND DON'TS.

DOS

do bathe regularly (wasn't something I thought I would have to mention until one of my students just walked up to my desk as I was preparing to type)

do use deodorant (see above)

do wash hair (AT LEAST 4 of the SEVEN days of the week)

do STYLE hair (and that does not mean like "carrot top, it also means no do-rags, headbands, caps or scarves. I have several friends for whom cap screams "didn't take time to do my hair)

do use product if hair is unruly. (doesn't have to be salon style.. a Wal-Mart brand will work, so $$$ is not an excuse)

do WEAR MAKE-UP (unless you are a "natural beauty" which I have yet to see EVER in anyone OVER 30 years old!!) And might I add here that I had to wear make-up beginning at the age of 5 so no natural beauty here.

do wear clothes APPROPRIATE to the seasons (yes we are in West Texas but there are STILL seasons and they should be observed LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD. We may be isolated but we don't have to be ignorant.)

do ACCENTUATE the positive

do CAMOUFLAGE the negative (these are elementary people)

do SMILE (as long as you are brushing your teeth regularly...do we even have to mention that ladies?)

do dress your age (there is something sexy about a woman who feels good in her own skin....unless that is all you have on)

And before you think I am just being "mean". I am surrounded by students AND adults
( Shocking I know) that these apply to. And not just at school either.

Now for the DON'TS

don't buy, wear, or even look at white shoes EVER (unless you are a nurse over 50 and still wear the white uniform) This does NOT apply to tennis shoes however. (they are in a whole different category)But white shoes.....only for girls under 12 EVER

don't wear above mentioned shoes (if you just insist on having a pair) until EASTER. (Hello, may I introduce you to Emily Post? Believe you me, go with ivory, or taupe but BACK AWAY FROM THE WHITE RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY!!! I have NEVER heard someone say "I Love your shoes, where did you get them?" about white.. just so you know)

don't wear hose (period)

okay that is not a real rule... the rule is don't wear hose that are DARKER than your shoes!!!( I feel silly even having to mention it.)

don't wear clothes that are too tight (we have gone over this in previous blog part 1)

don't wear clothes too big (once again see part 1)

don't wear tennis shoes with jeans if you are over 35. (It is an Elly Mae Clampett disaster waiting to happen. A long legged jeans with some kind of heel gives you height and poise and keeps you from looking like a frumpy or "wannabe" teenager. And make sure the jeans are long enough for your shoes. Otherwise we are talking a whole other fashion disaster)

don't wear tennis shoes with ANYTHING unless it is a sport look i.e. windpants, sweats, or workout clothes.

don't wear your daughter's jewelry. that rope, plastic, and bangle stuff was not meant for Hannah's(as in Montana) mom. Buy your own and make it age appropriate. Doesn't have to be expensive

don't tuck in ANYTHING unless you are within 5 pounds of your high school weight. or have never given birth

don't frump up because you feel bad about yourself. if you feel unattractive, don't take it out on your clothes.... go work out or eat less. I sometimes feel extremely unattractive (shocking I know) but my clothes NEVER betray that emotion. When I wear sweats or dress "down" I make it look like it is on purpose and that I am having a "lazy" day!

don't go to YOUR JOB without make-up. It says I don't care enough about myself so how could I possibly care about my job? See above comment about "natural beauty."

don't make excuses or apologize for your appearance because A) it means you know you look bad and should have taken a little more time or B) that you are trying to justify your fashion faux paus

If you follow these little helpful hints you won't have to call atttention or deflect attention from yourself. No matter the mood, the clothes will say, I feel good because I look good. That is all.