Where Are Your Parents?

I will be the first to say the the MAIN problem with the youth of today is poor parenting. When one thinks of "poor" parenting they think of neglect, no discipline, rules, structure or positive reinforcement. BUT I have come to see that there is another problem running rampant in our society. Babies getting married with parental approval. Kids who have NEVER been on their own, can't make it on the part-time jobs they have while their parents supply EVERYTHING else. Those that either don't have higher educations or haven't finished pursuing their higher education or who just plain have no clue as to what they want to do in life. YET, they are getting married and with not only their parents consent but their BLESSING as well. Seriously?? And what worked for you doesn't mean will work for your child. Back in the day, it was COMMON for people to get married young but those days are not like the 21st century. In fact, it is harder for ESTABLISHED couples of many years to survive these times much less kids in or just out of high school. I see it all the time. And these people expect me to be happy and excited about their upcoming nuptials. I am not talking about the kids that get pregnant and have no thoughts or plans to get married. EVEN THEY know that their "baby daddy" probably isn't their forever someone. And I even tell them that getting married "for the sake of the baby" is a BAD idea. Let everyone have an active emotional and financial role in the pregnancy and the first YEAR of life and IF after all of that they are still together THEN MAYBE start thinking about getting married. But I digress. I am talking about kids from middle class backgrounds, usually with two parents, who are getting married right out of high school. SERIOUSLY!! And the excuse? "My parents did it". Well that doesn't hold water with me. The marriage success rate in America today is 1 out of every 2!!! The average median age for marriage in the United States as of 2008 was 32!! And while 18 seems terribly young to me, 32 seemed terribly old. BUT, the report stated that people from middle class backgrounds were waiting until they had finished school, started a career, and were financially solvent before committing to a lifetime relationship with someone else. And that they expected the same goals for their soon to be partner. Sounds like SOME OF US are getting it right. So yeah I think 18 year olds getting married is ridiculous and their parents are displaying either ignorance or neglect in not only condoning it but in some cases encouraging it. I had someone tell me that one young lady that is getting married at 18 has been dating the young man for a few years. OH OKAY............so since she was what 16? MAKES all the difference. Sign me up as the matron of honor!!! Because see, MY daughter,who is 19 thought she wanted to marry the guy she dated when she was in the EIGHTH GRADE. And then the guy she dated in the NINTH AND TENTH grade was the ONE. AND then the guy she dated her Junior and part of Senior year was SO FOR SURE THE ONE that even HIS parents (both sets) thought they were getting married. (Her daddy and I were FOR SURE they WEREN'T) And this LAST boyfriend...........the one that she dated from 18 THROUGH being 19??? Katie knew in her heart that this was her future forever person. I watched her make silent plans to spend the rest of her life with this young man. UNTIL he broke up with her. And what has ALL of this love found, love lost, taught my daughter? That you will experience all different kinds of people in your life until you find your forever someone. And that you should. That it is healthy and makes you CERTAIN of what you want. And if you are reading this and you married your high school sweetheart or you married young and are still married then congratulations to you. BUT you are the EXCEPTION NOT THE RULE! I guess I am so upset because I heard this week that a young lady with TONS of potential will probably be married by this time next year. She lives at home. She works, goes to school but struggles financially. So getting married is going to fix that how? I have known her quite a while and care for her. I hope she makes it but I have my doubts. This is her ONLY boyfriend and she is BARELY 18!! But there will be excitement, and joy, and plans for her but for me there will be one question............WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS??? I just don't get it.

A MOVING VIOLATION!!!

One of our work trucks was STOLEN Saturday night. We were home, up, with lights on and DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT. We discovered it as we were leaving for church Sunday morning. For the first time in MY LIFE I was speechless when George announced "they have stolen my truck." I kept looking at the empty space where it should be and thinking "no, it is not stolen, there is a logical explanation for this." After George said, for the THIRD time, "Joyce did you hear me?", I realized that we had been robbed. It was such a surreal feeling and made me scared. Not even mad (that would come later) just creeped out. As the day progressed, I developed a pounding headache that I think came from me trying to "figure out" what had actually happened and WHY!! Yesterday I told all of my classes and one of them had several students who had seen it and even knew who might have it and they TOLD ME and were willing to TELL the police. You have to understand that these are kids who don't trust the law. But they stood up FOR ME. Was so huge.........I was and am so proud of them and grateful to them. BUT.......still no truck. Also found out that TELEVISION IS A LIE!!! Things don't get solved in an hour and there is no desperate race to find the bad guy. Granted it is an OLD plumbing truck but it is MY old plumbing truck and it is important to me. But not so much to anyone else. Heard from the detective today that he had questioned the "suspect" who said that he didn't do it even though I have THREE young ladies who saw him driving it. So, according to the police, they are at a dead end. So the next time you are pulled over for something (unless they have proof like radar) just tell them you didn't do it. Seems to work for the bad guys!!! AND if you see an old white plumbing truck with a big utility bed and tool bins on the back with kids driving it having a great time..............DON'T call the police...........call me!!!