SPRING FEVER WITH A WIND CHILL OF 22?

I am sitting here wearing leggings under my skirt, with my little electric heater blowing on my feet, and a sweater on and I have spring fever. Not a desire for warmer weather but that "I don't want to be at work" sort of fever. And not the "I don't like my job" thing either. You know that feeling that comes with spring? Where you just feel different. You want to be at home. You just want to be outside, or you want to work in the yard, or clean the garage or wash the windows or whatever you do to signal a new season. And spring seems to be the season we always RENEW ourselves. So for some weird reason I am having my spring renewal season right now today. And it is too cold to do any thing about it. I always saw the new year as just another year older and the passing of more time. Maybe because I am older I feel differently. I can't explain the feeling but I am anxious and excited for the new year and what it will bring. Perhaps it will bring an early spring?

RESOLVED!!

Resolutions. I am of the opinion that people don't really know what they are and what they mean. I think the reason they are hard to keep is because we make unrealistic ones to begin with. I think that resolutions are something that should be an ongoing process and not just something that we start every January 1. I believe that we "resolve" to do things throughout the year, we just don't make a big deal and call it a resolution. And we don't ever think about that goal or issue that we have accomplished and say to ourselves "RESOLVED!!". Camelot is one of my all-time favorite movies. One of the things I love best is that throughout the movie King Arthur is searching for ways to make life better. He is a thinker, a ponderer. And after much thought (and song) he comes up with a solution. He then restates the problem and gleefully shouts "resolved." As I look back on 2009, I realize that many things in my life were "resolved." Things I didn't realize until I began thinking and pondering it. And when I did realize it and began to click them off one by one as being resolved, I felt like Arthur...excited and pleased. So this year dear reader I would encourage you to think back every evening on the day completed and see what you "resolved" that day. And if you must make a list make them realistic. And instead of trying to make a YEAR'S worth, just start with today. As for me............today I plan on

1) updating my blog (resolved)

2) do my job to the best of my ability (partially resolved, 4 classes to go)

3) not curse (partially resolved see above)

4) be positive (again partial)

5) pray (will be resolved when I pillow my head tonight)

6) be thankful (resolved)

7) be healthy (resolved if I can get through lunch with my friends)

8) be a good wife (duh...........sooooooooo resolved)

9) be a good mother (see above)

Not bad to have nine resolutions almost complete and that is just for one day. Which brings me to my last resolution

10) take ONE day at a time (resolved)

It Doesn't Get Any Easier...Why Is That?

Today started out as any other normal Sunday. Church, Sunday School, out to eat. Came home and helped Katie pack and loaded her car. As I hugged her in her room I was overcome with emotion. Like seriously!!! Katie has been on the road back "home" to Lubbock for about an hour and I have FINALLY gotten myself together enough to talk about it. Her daddy of course is snoring happily away on the couch and has been since before she reached the city limit sign. What is it about men? (whole other blog) Anyway, she came late and left early because she has to work or wanted to or volunteered or whatever. She is going back to work and while I am proud of her work ethic and the fact that full time work right now fills her coffers and therefore mine as well, I hate that everyone else's child is still here and mine is on the road and going back to a rather large EMPTY dorm and equally empty dorm rooms as no one else has to or will be back until this coming weekend. I am so proud of her. Have I said that? I am. I really really am. AND we had such a good visit. But I think that is part of the problem. Her trips "home" are starting to become just that...........a visit. For her, "home" is Lubbock and while that was our intended goal and yeah we have done our job and should be proud and blah blah blah.....it still makes me sad. And every time she leaves here she takes another piece of herself with her. And yeah that is how it SHOULD BE..........I GET IT!!! So why does it sometime break my heart? I cried (a lot) this time because I couldn't and can't stand the thought of her being up there "all alone." She will be fine but I hated to see her go. She has been out from under my roof since August of 2008 and out of San Angelo since August of 2009 so what is my problem? I don't know and don't care. I just know that the next time I walk out of the room at Regency House after visiting with MY mom... I will wonder if she sometimes feel that bittersweet ache in her heart. That mixture of pride and loss all wrapped up in this incredible package of love and happiness? I have no way of knowing but I know this, next time I go "visit" my mom...I will stay longer and hold her a little tighter. And hopefully, for her, it will feel like home.

Mom? I have something I need to tell you.....

Okay, thus started the phone call from my 19 year old daughter away at school yesterday. This was followed by "and I don't want you to be mad at me." To be followed by "I really felt like I needed to call you before I did it, but it was 10:30 and I figured you were in my bed and MY ROOMMATES said you wouldn't care!" As I swallowed my heart thinking she had either gotten married, or a tattoo of a big anchor right across her chest, I calmly said, what did you do? She continued with the don't be mad at me mantra and the "this is something I have wanted to do for a long time" excuse while my mind is rushing around every possible scenario and none of them are good. Something she has always wanted to do? Be Britney Spears? OH MY GOD SHE HAS SHAVED HER HEAD AND QUIT WEARING UNDERWEAR??? Finally I not so calmly said WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? In a quiet voice, came the reply "I pierced my belly button." Oh joy!! Happy Day!! Of all the things it could have been this was it??? I was so relieved. So then I had to hear the entire story and of course she had to confirm and reconfirm the sanitary conditions and follow up care and the promise that she wouldn't let it get infected. And the good thing is.........it's not permanent. I had her tell her daddy who immediately started with the no nose, no lip, no eye, no tongue and no nipple rule. Yeah, he actually said no nipple!! I love that man!!! She assured us she would never and that TATTOOS were out of the question so I am good with that. After all, I keep reminding myself (daily) she is 19 and almost in her 3rd year of college. And she is a good kid. My only concern is that the night she did this I had talked to her earlier around 9 and she had complained that she was bored. School is out and all of her friends will be coming home in the next few days. She, however, is staying until the 22nd so she can work. If she gets lonely or bored then, what should I expect? There had better be no ANCHORS(or sailors for that matter) in her future!!!

Laughter TRULY is the Best Medicine!!!

Just had lunch with my "bunch" and laughed so hard that I am in the best mood EVER!!! Just has made my afternoon. Hope the sewing machine crew doesn't turn us in!!!

The Old Gray Mare She Ain't What She Used To Be!!

Okay, so I run every week. Twice a week. And I have hit five miles each day and in the last month my time has gotten really good. So.......I sometimes forget how old I REALLY am!! Yesterday while trying to give my students a "feel" for the Roaring Twenties and what flappers were and how much fun the era was I performed the Charleston. And very well I might add. I performed it so well that I decided to do it again the next class period. And when I was finished with much gusto my knee sort of went.....OW!!!
By the next class period, I was sort of hobbling and by lunch I was barely making the stairs. In the class period FOLLOWING lunch we had a freaking fire drill. Yep, back down the stairs, out to the back forty behind the building, standing around on uneven muddy ground (did I mention that I was in heels) and then back into the building and BACK up the stairs. Okay now I am having a serious knee issue. Went to the trainer after school and it is a POSSIBILITY that ALL I HAVE done is dislocated my knee cap. So, no heels for a few days (I do NOT own a pair of shoes that do not have heels except my tennis shoes and flip flops or my Uggs which I have to wear with jeans)NO RUNNING and ice and ibuprofen and REST!!! YEP, right here at Christmas with a two hour concert at church THREE nights in a row, getting kids ready for semester exams (which requires a lot of walking around the classroom, not to mention the beatings) and Christmas shopping. Had to get permission to wear a wind suit so I could wear tennis shoes. I am SO not wearing tennis shoes with ANY THING else. BUT, the classes that got to SEE me do the Charleston PASSED THE EXAM TODAY WITH FLYING COLORS!!!! You see, I forget that I am old(er)!! I truly do. Bottom line........the old gray mare ain't what she used to be. But she still ain't that bad!!!

EXHAUSTION

I am sitting here in my classroom FIGHTING to keep my eyes open. I am so sleepy that my head feels like it weights ten pounds. I am showing a film and MOST of my students are watching but a few are sleeping. Wonder if they would notice if I laid my head down as well? I would but am afraid the fire would wake me up!! Been a long week and the end of the semester is rapidly approaching. All of the sudden there is MUCH to do just to get ready to be out for winter break. Not to mention all the Christmas stuff to do in the few remaining days and weeks ahead. Makes me tired just.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz