Empty Nest Part Two

When Katie moved into the dorm at ASU this time last year, her daddy and I (her daddy especially) mourned her leaving pretty heavy. And for the first two weeks she was gone she didn't come home (hello?we live right across town) or call AT ALL. It was very hard. But as time progressed she started coming around more. Granted it was for free meals and laundry but still. During her year "away" from home she blossomed and grew into an independent and responsible young adult. Did well in school, worked, and PAID her way. Didn't ask us for money and took care of business. So this past weekend when we moved her to Texas Tech, we all felt that she was ready and so were we. WRONG!!! I noticed that the last four days here she stayed home EVERY night and just hung out with her father and I. Okay, she hasn't CHOSEN to hang out with us since she was 16. When we got up AT FIVE Sunday morning to head to Lubbock, we were all on board and things were fine except for the baggy eyes and stifled yawns. When we got to the dorm, her dad and I MOVED her in while she stayed in the room doing I don't know what. I remember thinking, "we are paying her tuition AND we have to haul all her crap?" And from the parking lot to her second story dorm room was at least 200 yards. By the fourth trip, I thought George was going into minor cardio arrythmia and I was on my 2nd or 3rd mini-stroke. We had a little "drama" ONCE when her daddy got on to her for her bad/demanding attitude. (Imagine that) So, at that point she quit speaking to him. And of course there are other roommates with their parents who are trying to move in as we have a domestic squabble in her room. It was delightful. After about 2 1/2 hours, she was, for the most part, moved in and we went to eat lunch. She took us to Spanky's and we all just sort of sat and enjoyed a good hamburger and a nice view. We sat by the window upstairs. THEN it was time to take her "home" (that just doesn't sound right to me), say goodbye and get on the road. We were all fine. Seriously. When I got out of the car to hug her and tell her goodbye.........I completely fell apart. It was like a death wail. I was so horrified but the tears kept flowing and the sobs kept coming. In fact, when a mom walked by and saw me hugging Katie and crying..SHE started crying so I pretty much contributed to her falling apart. And of course, George started to cry and then Katie teared up. It was AWFUL!!! She looked so small walking back to that dorm by herself. She is ill and hadn't gotten her meds yet and she didn't have a job and it was just so BIG and uncertain. I drove us out and was sobbing so that I took us home through Post instead of Lamesa. I sobbed for about 15 minutes, cried for another 15 or twenty, and then whimpered occasionally all the way home. BUT two days later she had her meds and started taking them AND SHE GOT A JOB. NOT JUST ANY JOB BUT A "CUSHY" ONE!!! In a law firm (not bad for a pre-law student) working 4 afternoons a week, off at five, no nights or weekends. Perfect for her health AND her schedule. God is so good to us. And she calls us every day, sometimes more than ONCE and emails and texts her momma regularly. So I think of all the emotions as she has left us TWICE, I now think of all the opportunities that lay ahead for her. And though I am torn between missing her and being so proud for her, I say to myself, fly high little bird, spread your wings and soar, and if you need it, the nest will always be here.

God As A Big Black Woman?

My sister-in-law gave me a copy of this book. When I began reading it, I was really into the story UNTIL (watch out spoiler alert) God was portrayed as a big black woman. I couldn't get past it for a day or two but as I continued to get into the story, that no longer seemed to matter. The book was extremely profound and very well written. The author never intended the book to be published. He wrote it for his children to try to explain why bad things happen to those who love the Lord. At some point in their lives, a very "bad" thing happened to him and his family. I do not know what it was. In the book, it is the murder of his 6-year old child. Whether or not this is the REAL event is irrelevant. He uses the book to explain the Trinity and the wonderment of the relationship between the three. Will you understand the Trinity after reading the book? No. Is his representation intended to be factual? No. But it did impact my life in a HUGE way. And the PRINCIPLES in the book are very much reflected in the Bible. In fact, there were MANY places where I had to go back and re-read what "God" was saying. It made me feel good and this non-fiction fictional tale left me wanting to be better. Made me want people to see Christ IN me and THROUGH me in a way that NO SERMON ever has. After reading the book, I did some research on it and found that many religious "experts" (what is that by the way?) profane the book for all sorts of "personal" reasons one of which is that God is portrayed as female. But, He is referred to as Papa, which is male the last time I checked. The book is ripe with symbolism and I believe that most "critics" don't understand what an allegory is. Of course they are only EXPERTS in that which offends them. TYPICAL RELIGION. This author is writing out of pain and suffering and a desire to understand God and how He could stand by while bad things happen to his children. Another thing to keep in mind is...he never intended for anyone but his children to read it. And when it just took off he had no control over the impact it had anymore than I believe he had over the story that his heart and perhaps the Lord told him to write. It is a good read. It has Biblical truths in it and gives the reader a sense of peace about that which we cannot comprehend. I am glad that I read it and yeah, God as a big black woman was hard to get past.........AT FIRST. But as I read the WORDS, the author's vehicle for presenting them no longer seemed important. So, this blog is part of my contribution to "The Missy Project". To find out what that is, you will have to read the book. I could pass the book along which is also part of the project, like my sister-in-law did, but I plan on keeping it and re-reading the parts that changed me. Especially with school fast approaching and life seeming so unfair at times. I plan on spending a few days of my own at THE SHACK.